Behavior Jokes

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

A side by side image of a man. On the left, the man has a neutral, slightly serious expression with his hands folded. On the right, he has a slight grin, as if he's up to something. The text overlaid on the image reads: ME LYING / ME TELLING THE TRUTH

What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?

If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Stop bullying orphans!

What if they tell their parents?

Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.

This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.