Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
Imagine everyone being hoes.
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
