Behavior jokes

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it.

Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.

When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."

When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."

Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!

How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?

Act like a nut.

How do you catch an elephant?

Act like a peanut.

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

Imagine everyone being hoes.

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.

Bully 2: Look in a mirror.

Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.

Why can’t you trust an emo kid?

'Cause they always leave you hanging.

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.