Behavior jokes
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
Sister: You're so stupid.
Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.