Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!
The more they smile, the less they see.
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."
Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."
Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
