Behavior jokes
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
Really Karen?
If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?
The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
Why do men say funny things? Just to be silly!
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“