Pennywise: They all float down here! Titanic: *hold my beer*
A horse walks into a bar. Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You guys should know your limits."
What do you call a necrophilic gangbang Cracking open a cold one with the boys
I fear my last words will be ''hold my beer and watch this.''
You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...
A Roman walks into a bar
He holds up two fingers and says "give me five beers."
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.
I am so nervous.
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂
What do alcoholics and necrophiliac have in common? They both like cracking open a cold one
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man walks into a bar and say I'm feeling depressed what do you have to cheer me up? The bartender replied: a shotgun
The Barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing The beer bottle says: if you break me you get one year of bad luck The mirror scoffs: oh, that's nothing, you break me and you get 7 years of bad luck. The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says "A beer please! and one for the road!"
A rapist, pedifile, and a priest walk into a bar He orders a beer
Same person
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer...?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
I was walking down main street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get a my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, expeciy when your a furry."
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, ̈Sorry, we don't serve food here."
