Banana jokes

What do you call a bruised banana?

A school bus full of his kids.

Penis ➕ ➕ ➕ 🕳

inside 🚹 🚹 restroom

equals 😋 🍌 🍌 🍌 inside

glory 🕳

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

Be grateful:

You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.

Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.

Banana joke?

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

Banana na na.

During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"

What do a banana and shampoo have in common?

Ur mom.

Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.

Student: My name is Buttitches.

Teacher: Please tell us your real name.

Student: Buttitches.

Teacher: I’m calling the police.

Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.

Student: Buttitches.

Police: *shoots gun.*

A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."

what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.

What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.

Banana!

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?

You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.

Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.

Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.

Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.

Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.

Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.

Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.

Kid: It's not an Apple product.

Indian poor dad: It's a banana.