Banana

Banana jokes

Kid

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.

Name

Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.

Student: My name is Buttitches.

Teacher: Please tell us your real name.

Student: Buttitches.

Teacher: I’m calling the police.

Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.

Student: Buttitches.

Police: *shoots gun.*

A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."

Nana

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

Penis

Penis ➕ ➕ ➕ 🕳

inside 🚹 🚹 restroom

equals 😋 🍌 🍌 🍌 inside

glory 🕳

Orphan

Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?

Because they both split away from their family.

Holiday

During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"

Doctor

I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.

Pregnancy

How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?

You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.

Fruit

Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

  • 3
  • Man

    Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?

    Guy

    What did the first guy say to the second?

    Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?

    Baby

    What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.

    Ice Cream

    Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.

    Shitmate: You’re so shitable.

    Me: Bring banana ice cream.

    Shitmate: Never happening.

    Juice

    When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!

    Try with a cucumber.

    Study

    It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

    It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.