Bad jokes
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.
What do you call a rapper with bad manners?
RUDE-ICROUS
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Maybe Leo actually isn’t stupid... maybe she just has bad luck with thinking!
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."