Bad

Bad jokes

Brick

  • What's blue and bad for your teeth?

    A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).

  • 2
  • Cancer

  • Doctor: I have bad news.

    Man: What?

    Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

    Man: Oh, no...

    Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

    Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

  • 1
  • Orphanage

  • I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

    Satan

  • Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

    Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

    Therapist: That's not so bad.

    Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

  • 1
  • Pass

  • Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!

    - 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!

    Better than Elanga?

  • 1
  • Stroke

  • My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

  • 1