They told me throwing babies was bad but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming? Use more lube.
how many braincells does a pregnant blonde have 2 one for her one for the baby
whats red and screams when you shake it? a skinned baby in a bag of salt
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
my sisters pregnant, ima be a dad!
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger. Mommy is that Uncle Joe?
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
My bumper sticker says:👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “Change the damn diaper you idiot.”
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
9 months later they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
2 years later they went up again then their daughter had a brother.
But 1 little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother..
I was going to tell a joke about babys but i decided to abort
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? stopping it with a cricket bat
How do you get 500 dead baby’s into a car? A blender
How do you get 500 dead baby’s out of a car? A straw
The doctor says "your wife is PREGNENT" the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn't
Things to kids: Dragapult:Ooh, look! Some ammo A Good Parent: My baby Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
what is the difference between a baby and a cano? i would never put a cano in my garage
