Baby jokes
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.