What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? “It’s pasture bed time.”
what does a baby and a hand grenade have in common
they both make noise when you throw them
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Why cant two chinese people have a white baby ?
Because two wongs dont make a white
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Whats the difference between A pile of dead babies, and a ferrari… I dont have a ferrari in my garage.
Whats worse than placing 10 babys in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans…
What’s worst then finding 10 babys in 10 dumpsters??
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters
A baby skunk’s mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn’t know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks ‘What are you?’, the baby bunny replies ‘Well I’m a baby bunny. What are you?’ the baby skunk says 'Well I don’t know am I a baby bunny too?' the baby bunny says ‘No you’re not a baby bunny.’ so the baby skunk asks 'Well what am I then?' the baby bunny replies ‘Well you’re not exactly blank and you’re not exactly white so you must be Mexican.’
I was going to tell a joke about babys but i decided to abort
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, “Are you the one taking care of my wife?” The doctor glanced away from his papers, “Yes, that would be me. But I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheel chair. Also, she can’t eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically ot will be like taking care of a big baby.” Shocked, the guys says, “Wait, if that’s the bad news, than what is the good news?” The doctor goes, “I’m just kidding with you, she died!”
Whats better than swinging a baby around on a rope??? Stopping it with a shovel.
How do you get 500 babies in a phonebooth? A blender How do you get them out? A straw
What is worse to have - a dead baby or dead Santa Claus? Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.