Whats better than swinging a baby around on a rope??? Stopping it with a shovel.
How do you get 500 babies in a phonebooth? A blender How do you get them out? A straw
whats the differnece between a baby and a trampoline. the trampoline doesnt cave in when i jump on it
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I’ve ever made.
Then I realize “My daughter isn’t THAT bad…”
What’s worse than ten baby’s nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don’t witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
Arby’s fast food, and abortion clinic, your dead babies are our taters and gravies.
the difference between dark jokes and morbid is
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans
Do you have dark humor?
Actually never mind, I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying… but I decided to abort.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They’re both thinking “Oh my God, my mom’s gonna kill me!”
Two baby seals walk into a club
What is red and white and goes 200 mph A baby in a blender.
What’s the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
… I don’t have a Porsche in my garage.
whats the difference between onions and babys?
i cry when i cut onions.
How many babys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more then 9 cause my basement is still dark
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades, and throw it down the stairs?
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles? You nail its other hand to the floor.