Shovel

anon

Whats better than swinging a baby around on a rope??? Stopping it with a shovel.

0

Blender

laufftrack

How do you get 500 babies in a phonebooth? A blender How do you get them out? A straw

Jump

loli clint

whats the differnece between a baby and a trampoline. the trampoline doesnt cave in when i jump on it

Daughter

Anonymous

Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I’ve ever made.

Then I realize “My daughter isn’t THAT bad…”

Nail

What’s worse than ten baby’s nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to ten trees.

Wife

Crow

So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage

Flat

Sheeeeeeeeesshhh

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it

Why don’t witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender

Fast

Zuchuri

Arby’s fast food, and abortion clinic, your dead babies are our taters and gravies.

Difference

Mr. Morbid

the difference between dark jokes and morbid is

dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can and

morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans

Darkness

Dark_Shadow

Do you have dark humor?

Actually never mind, I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying… but I decided to abort.

Common

holyshat

What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?

They’re both thinking “Oh my God, my mom’s gonna kill me!”

Club

Mason

Two baby seals walk into a club

2

Offensive

Trent Ray

What is red and white and goes 200 mph A baby in a blender.

Difference

What’s the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

… I don’t have a Porsche in my garage.

Darkness

big dick mouse

whats the difference between onions and babys?

i cry when i cut onions.

Darkness

Ay ish u boi uh skinny p

How many babys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more then 9 cause my basement is still dark

Stairs

Sad and lonely

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades, and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

5

Cry

ITSMINE

what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

9

Green

Anonymous

What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands

Hand

Anonymous

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles? You nail its other hand to the floor.