Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack the other one is a watermelon.
Whats the difference between a baby and garlic bread. I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
What's worse than a dead baby?- A pile of dead babies- whats worse than that? -The one on the bottom is alive.- And whats worst than that is, the baby has to eat it's way out
Whats the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a suprise when you find the treasure
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
what's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies
My boner
what's better then throwing dead babe's? catching them after with a pitch fork
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: "Well...We're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny's father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" HIs father is confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.
Teenager: OMG, I’m prego, my moms gonna kill me Baby: Lmao, same
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
