I was gonna tells dead baby joke but I decided to abort
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-WOOF
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man’s favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack the other one is a watermelon.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday 🤭
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Whats the difference between a baby and garlic bread. I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
Why are babies called bundles of joys? When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”
What the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes
Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.
What’s worse than a dead baby?- A pile of dead babies- whats worse than that? -The one on the bottom is alive.- And whats worst than that is, the baby has to eat it’s way out
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
Most people smother babies with love. I smother them with pillows
What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.