Deciding

Freddie the mistake

I was gonna tells dead baby joke but I decided to abort

Puns

I need halp

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.

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Light

☻I•SAID•NICE•RECTUM☻

How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-WOOF

Sister

F...HandsMcFestive

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

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Man

Nim

What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man’s favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.

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Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is a refreshing summertime snack the other one is a watermelon.

Born

Anonymous

Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?

Because it wasn’t born yesterday 🤭

Truck

Anonymous

What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

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Difference

Anonymous

Whats the difference between a baby and garlic bread. I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

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Break

Anonymous

Why are babies called bundles of joys? When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.

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Name

Anonymous

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”

Difference

Anonymous

What the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?

I don’t have a Mercedes

Worse

Daloolah

Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

  • 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.
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Eating

Dead baby Pile

What’s worse than a dead baby?- A pile of dead babies- whats worse than that? -The one on the bottom is alive.- And whats worst than that is, the baby has to eat it’s way out

Means

Exsqueeze me?

Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

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Difference

steelfoil_ug

What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.

Stop

Daloolah

How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2

-Harpoon it

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Pillow

Anonymous

Most people smother babies with love. I smother them with pillows

Difference

hellhasaseatjustforme

What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.

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Sister

Anonymous

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.

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