What do you do when your baby starts screaming? Use more lube.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
9 months later they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
2 years later they went up again then their daughter had a brother.
But 1 little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother..
what do you call a baby in an oven? my next meal
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
what does a baby and a hand grenade have in common
they both make noise when you throw them
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me
What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me. But I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheel chair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically ot will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guys says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
Babies can spread a nasty smell,
especially when you haven't fed them for a month.
Whats better than swinging a baby around on a rope??? Stopping it with a shovel.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades, and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says "Oh what chest!" " That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says "Oh what legs!'' He says "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says "Why were you running?" She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you call a dead baby? spawn killed
