Lost

Anonymous

You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today

Hope

Dre Cuellar

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson

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Oven

guacamole n.... p....

what do you call a baby in an oven? my next meal

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Erection

Anonymous

What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?

An erection.

Light

Smokescreen

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark

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Green

Joseph W.

What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later

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Catch

menemajeff

what’s better then throwing dead babe’s? catching them after with a pitch fork

Paint

Anonymous

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Difference

Anonymous
  1. What’s the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humon is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans
  2. What’s the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza dosent scream in the oven.
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Scream

Gray

What do you do when your baby starts screaming? Use more lube.

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Legs

Anonymous

Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.

Roof

yes i am suicidal

Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

A. Depends how thin you slice them.

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Little Johnny

Anonymous

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, “Then who fucks the stork?”

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Legs

Lynn🤍💖

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running?” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”

Little Johnny

Anonymous

A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.’’ “I still don’t get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then…good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ‘‘OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!’’

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Difference

Anonymous

Whats the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It’s a suprise when you find the treasure

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Die

Anonymous

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while I masturbate…

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Smell

Anonymous

Babies can spread a nasty smell,

especially when you haven’t fed them for a month.

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Hand

mia

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

Trash

Silent

What’s worse then a baby in a trash can?

A baby in 10 trash cans.

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