Astronaut jokes
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
When you realize the shuttle blew up.
Then you realize you're on the shuttle.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What does NASA stand for?
Nose and smelly astronauts.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
Did you hear about the midget astronaut?
He landed on Pluto.
NASA is big fat poo 💩 no🍱🍠🥮🧀🍘🧀.
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.