Astronaut jokes
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
What does NASA stand for?
Neil Armweak Sorry Armstrong.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?