Astronaut jokes
Did you hear about the midget astronaut?
He landed on Pluto.
You know, my mom told me to become an astronaut.
I told her I don't want to become the next firework.
What were Christa McAuliffe’s last words to her husband?
"You feed the dog, I’ll feed the fish."
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?
They both have very little air to breathe.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.