Astronaut

Astronaut jokes

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?

Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Poor guy really needs some space.

When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.