Astronaut jokes

How do you organize a space themed birthday party?

You planet.

Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?

Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

Can we have a party in space?

First, we need to planet ;)

Get it? "Plan it" = planet.

If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!

What was the first sport played on the moon?

Capture the flag.

When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.

An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.

He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.

Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.

Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon? A: A Luna-Tic!

What does NASA stand for?

Nose and smelly astronauts.

NASA is big fat poo 💩 no🍱🍠🥮🧀🍘🧀.

What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.

Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?

There wasn't enough space to fly it.

What do you call a student in space?

An astrodent.

NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."

I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.

Neil before me.