Astronaut jokes
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
What is a good night's sleep?
I haven't a clue!
What were Christa McAuliffe’s last words to her husband?
"You feed the dog, I’ll feed the fish."
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
If you faked the moon mission, don't apollo-gize.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
You know, my mom told me to become an astronaut.
I told her I don't want to become the next firework.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.