Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
Assault Jokes
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?
Marry her.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!
It's okay, you had socks on :)
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Rape victims suck, literally.
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.