Assault jokes
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
Ni tshike mbangi bcz ani zaha toilet, nikarhi Ni hlometela out side loko tiniba. Ni hlometela ndzeni ka poto.
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."
How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?
Marry her.
Bully: Gina, why are you such a whore?
Gina: Because they hit me on the ass!
Bully: Yuh, that must be nice!
Gina: Hmmm...
Gina: Wanna???
Bully: 😍😍😍...sexy ass ever!
Bully 🖐🏻🍑
Gina😊
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
what do you call a rape victim in Ukraine?
Debris.
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!