Assault Jokes

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"

The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.

Why do I carry pepper spray?

Just in case of as-SAULT.

Unicorns

The image shows a three-panel comparison. The top panel shows a white horse with a horn labeled 'Unicorn'. The middle panel features a white rhino labeled 'High-capacity assault unicorn'. The bottom panel depicts a swordfish labeled 'High speed underwater unicorn'. The image text says 'Unicorns come in different sizes'.

What did the rape victim give to her rapist?

Head.

If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?

It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"

Okay, when I leave for ONE DAY something happens like people being sexist and men saying that women are weak (Which is Not True), AND rape. I hate hearing and really saying the word. Just stop with all this nonsense. I say rape and sexist and woman assault jokes should not be allowed. They are too cruel and mean to women. Most men are weaker than women. So don't anyone make anymore things or "jokes" about rape. Women are strong and don't be mean to them.

Sincerely, watersharky (How did I not misspell????)