Assault

Assault Jokes

Rape

What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.

Rape

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

Sex

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.

Unless you are in prison.

Rape

There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.

Rape

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.

Rape

What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?

Freeze.

Rapist

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

Lamp

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.

Slur

A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.

Rape

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

Rape

Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.

Rape

Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

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