Assault jokes

I'm a rapist.

What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.

There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.

Unless you are in prison.

Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.

Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?

You know what I hate about rape?

Keeping it a secret.

what do you call a rape victim in Ukraine?

Debris.

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?

What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?

Freeze.

When is rape normal?

When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

They can't say no if they're unconscious.

A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.

Here is a joke: Rape.

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"