Assault jokes
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.