Assault jokes
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head.
Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."
I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
Rape is a touchy subject.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!