What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Why do I carry pepper spray? JUST IN CASE OF AS-SAULT.
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
