Sorry but, no one asked.
Asked Jokes
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
βYes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.β
I didn't ask: β
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. βοΈ
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I donβt know.
Dumb one: Oh u donβt know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I donβt know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"
