Asked jokes

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

You can't drink alcohol or dance.

Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.

Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”

You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.

Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."

The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"

The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."

Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."

Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

At 9/11, the people in the Twin Towers ordered pizza. They asked for pepperoni, but instead got plane.

Sorry but, no one asked.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.