Asked jokes

What did the booty say when it was asked to help?

"I've got your backside covered!"

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”

The bartender says, “No, only women.”

The man then leaves.

My friend asked me:

Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

Me: "1 million."

Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

Friend: "Oh."

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”

The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:

"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."

My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.

The librarian then asked me to take it out.

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.