Asked Jokes

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

*slaps* "We ask ze questions!"

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

I once went up to an orphan and they were crying, and I asked where their parents are, and they started crying more.

My mom when i was younger

A man with a slightly annoyed smirk is looking at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "Me when my kid trips over the toy I asked him to pick up 100 times."

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Just look up texting jokes. Don't ask why, just do it.

When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!

If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.

The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"

I replied, "As soon as possible!"

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"

The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."

So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.

An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."

My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.

One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?

Ground Beef.