Asked jokes

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

At 9/11, the people in the Twin Towers ordered pizza. They asked for pepperoni, but instead got plane.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

Sorry but, no one asked.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.

My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"