Asian jokes
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
Memes
No offense, but…
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
What do you call a Christian Asian?
Hao Li.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
What's the difference between a dog from an Asian person and a cat from an Asian person?
Only the taste.