Asian jokes
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
What kind of pizza do Asians get?
Prain.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Robert Ryall
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!