Asian jokes
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
How do Asians name their babies?
They throw pots and pans around.
"Ching, Chang, Clang!"
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
your mom
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!