Asian jokes
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
What do you call a rich Asian?
A cha-ching.
POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.