Asian

Asian Jokes

Asian man

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.

The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."

The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."

Stereotype

There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.

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  • Kitchen

    What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...

    There is always a kitchen in the back.

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  • Eyewear

    Why does China have the biggest eyewear?

    Because all their eyes are too small.

    Race

    Why can't two Asians make a white baby?

    Because two wongs don't make a white.

    Rice

    Why was the asian late to class?

    His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.

    Gulag

    In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.

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  • Lecture

    Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?

    Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.

    Restaurant

    A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.

    The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."

    So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"

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  • Name

    What did the Asian people name their retarded son?

    Sum Ting Wong.

    Bomb

    Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

    The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"

    Population

    China has a population of a billion people. One billion.

    That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

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  • Stereotype

    I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.