Art jokes
WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!
Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?
Muzan Kibutsuji
Hehe
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
"Racccccccccccccccccccccoccoooocoooocoooooooooooocoooooo this is my song."
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it was too TEAR-ABLE. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
"Rapeboat" makes Elton John seem straight.
Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?
A: One uses one nail to hang.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
Purple.
Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!