Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
I drew a picture of Colby.
Too bad it got ripped up 😢
What’s a rapper’s favorite MUSICAL NOTE?
G major.
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
What do you call a rapper who can't keep a beat?
A RAPPER-TAP-TAP!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To master the art of RAP-LETICS!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!
This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...
"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
When you fail art school.
