Arms jokes

I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.

What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.

Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.

Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Not Stephanie!

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.

He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”

The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.

The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.

If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?

What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?

Through my arm.

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:

"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"

The girl, showing her arm:

"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"

Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.

A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"

What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?

Names.

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."