Arms jokes
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
What is the difference between a human and a human rights act and a walk home and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and a wheelchair to wheelchair and wheelchair to wheelchair for wheelchair home night time to a home was fun at home night was the day I had dinner is it fun for me I was going to be a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home night time?
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
62 is not just any number, as it so happens to be my height, 6'2", just as 25 is my age on Facebook.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.