Arms jokes
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
What did one arm say to the other? "What is your address?"
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult, "I know the whole truth," they will be all weird. So he went home and told his mom, "I know the whole truth," and she gave him $20 and said to keep quiet.
Pleased, when his dad got home, he said, "I know the whole truth," and his dad gave him $40 and said, "Don't tell Mom." Really pleased, he met the mailman the next day and said, "I know the whole truth." Then the mailman got down on his knee, opened his arms, and said, "Come to daddy."
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
I went up to a dude with no arms, pulled out my speaker, and started playing "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands".
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
Why did Ross fall off the swing?
Because he had no arms.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.