Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
knock, knock who's there? An armless person why? they got stumped on why they contacted you
What can’t a person with no arms do: if your happy and you know it clap your hands
Them: whats on your arm? Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
I asked my kid to give me a hand that motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm
i went to an emo kid who just got a hair cut and instead of saying, like your cut g" and i slapped his arm and said i like your cuts g
What has hands but can’t clap?
A thalidomide baby.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
what do emos and guys with a durag have in common? they both have waves, just one is on their arm
A man went to the doctors and the doctor said “what happened to you?” The man replied and said “I broke my arm in two places!” Then the doctor replied with “DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!”
What did Stephen Hawkings get for his BDay, Chocolate arm.
The cannibal got angry so he threw up his arms
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas I don't know he still hasn't opened it yet
My arm has a different texture then the rest of me lol
If you play the movie Jaws in reverse it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs do disabled people.
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" "of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms"
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok,And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm. It gave me a discount!
Knock knock? *who's there?* Not sally she doesn’t have and arms Why did sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book? You look at the emo girl and say "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
