Ares jokes
Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.
"Why?" said her friend.
"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"
"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.
"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
If you read this, you are gay.