Ares jokes

Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?

A: They are not wanted.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.

Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.

Why are Americans good at Rubik's Cubes?

They're so good at separating colors.

This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.

Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

Why are orphans good at dodgeball?

They can dodge adoptions.

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

Are you a toaster?

'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."