Ares jokes
Why are Americans good at Rubik's Cubes?
They're so good at separating colors.
This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
Straights are ALWAYS asking LGBTQ+ people why they have such GOOD FASHION SENSE. We didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing, honey ;)
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
Are you a toaster?
'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Hi, I was a feminist until I realised that:
A. Feminism is just a pile of dumb shit.
B. That men are actually treated unequally.
SO
we should all say sorry to the boys for pissing them off.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing.
A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking!
Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?