Ares jokes
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost 2 towers.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)