Ares jokes

Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.

Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Me: (quiet)

Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.

Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.

How do you call a cop?

Through the phone.

(My puns are bad)

Why are orphans gay? To call someone "daddy."

Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

Just a pickup line.

"Ayo, bbg, are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in."

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.

You are adopted.

No cap. No one loves you.

Bye.

A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.

Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?

THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.

I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.

Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"

Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.

Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.

Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!

Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!

Love you-Iariah

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"