Ares jokes
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
someting you should not send your blind friends
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
Someone: Hey, are you a skeleton?
A skeleton: Of course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans!
Why are there blind people? Because there is.
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they have already lost 2 towers!
What thing can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you!
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?