Ares jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo inside you?
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
You are the gayest.
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
Why are my students so naughty?
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
Why are you so fat? I bet you take after your mom more.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."