Ares jokes

Why are orphans so fond of shadows?

They're the only thing that accompanies them always.

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?

"We are Number one."

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?

They both are hung.

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Jared from Subway touches the youth.

Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Terrier.

Terrier who?

Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Why are you guys making fun of priests?

Because you have a suga daddy already.

You are the gayest.

Why are you so fat? I bet you take after your mom more.