Ares jokes
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.
Why are chickens so funny? Because...
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.
What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.