Ares jokes

Are your hairline and forehead friends? Because they go way back.

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!

There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?

The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.

What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.

If African immigrants are supposed to stay in their country, why can't their resources do the same?

We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"

Are you my friend?

Because I would make you more than that.

Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

Dad: "Yes, we arson."

Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.

So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”

So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).

My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"

Japan: "We are the ammo."

Where are virgins usually born?

Virginia.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!