Ares jokes
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
Hey freshfry, are you on? Because I'm ready to play on the Xbox.
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.