Ares jokes
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they never make it home.
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
I hate stairs. They are always up to something.
I love stairs. They are always down to party.
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
Are you a builder? Because you are giving me an erection.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.
Are you a marry, because you are my mother?
"We are Number one."
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?
Panera Dread.