Ares jokes

Candy

    • There are some questionable candies out there, such as:

    "All I want is a good Blow Pop."

    "I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."

    "If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."

    "Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."

    "Or adopt Three Musketeers."

    "Or even end up with a Sour Patch."

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    • Dog

    • If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

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    • People

    • Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

    Toaster

    • When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.

    A picture of a cartoon character with white hair and a sly smile, with the text "Parents: are you still a virgin? The toaster:"
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    • Ares memes

    Incest

    • When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

    Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

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    • Monkey

    • 5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

    Class

    • Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

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    • Woman

    • A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.

    One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."

    Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."

    Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"

    All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"

    The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."

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    • Rice

    • An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

    The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

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    • Child

    • How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?

    Depends on who's hanging.