Appearance jokes

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

Your hairline starts at the back of your head.

My grandpa and your hairline go way back.

Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”

Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.

Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.

Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.

Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!

"Why is your head big?"

"'Cause you're a ball."

Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.

Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a knife into a statue.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!

Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.