Appearance jokes
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
Your hairline is so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back.
Borthwick's hairline.
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
I wasn't looking at you, your big forehead was distracting me.
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.
Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.
Why is your mom ugly, bozo?
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.